Do Men and Women Sin Differently?

If we look at sins such as violence, lust, addiction and criminality we find that men are more frequently involved than women in these behaviors. So the question must be asked, “Do men and women sin differently?” I believe that they do, and I suggest that this is just one more piece of evidence that sin has biological roots.

Physiologically men and women are very different. It is often extremes (both highs and lows) in the same hormonal and biochemical systems that differ between the sexes, which predispose us to sinful behavior. God made the sexes different but complimentary (Genesis 2:20-25). He instilled certain drives and desires in the man, so that he might fulfill his divinely determined masculine role. A different set of female specific drives and desires was created in the woman so that she might accomplish her God ordained purposes. The complementary nature of these physiological drives and desires changed when sin entered the world. Mankind became selfish and independent with each individual now relying only on him or herself to fulfill his/her natural desires and physical appetites.

The gender differences observed in sinful behavior are foreshadowed in the curse that God pronounced upon Adam and Eve in the garden (Genesis 3:16-19). The man is told that he will have great difficulty in providing for himself and his family, so the sins most often committed by men tend to focus on obtaining immediate pleasure or gratification (e.g., lust). The curse upon the women was that she would no longer be in an equivalent relationship with the man and he would rule over her. So the sins of women tend to be about relational status, privilege or position (e.g., envy). A recent Catholic survey supports this idea that men and women sin differently. The study was based on the confessions heard by 95 year-old, Jesuit priest Fr. Roberto Busa and focused on the traditional seven deadly sins (pride, envy, gluttony, lust, anger, greed, sloth). The most common sins for men were lust, gluttony and slothfulness, while women were more likely to struggle with pride, envy and anger.

God created us as embodied spirits, having both physical and spiritual aspects to our being. Deeply stained and scarred by original sin, both spiritually and physically, we are at birth separated from God and incomplete. Because God created men and women as physically different it is understandable that the effect of original sin on our bodies and minds varies between the sexes. Through faith in Christ, we are transformed spiritually, but like all the physical creation, our bodies still long to be redeemed and made new (Romans 8:20-23). While salvation occurs in an instance, sanctification (the process by which our bodies and minds are formed into Christ’s likeliness) is a lifelong process that will only be fully realized at Christ’s second coming.

Mental Health Grace Alliance

I would like to officially announce the start of a new organization, the Mental Health Grace Alliance (MHGA). MHGA is a faith-based non-profit organization started by myself and Joe Padilla to assist mentally individuals and their families. Presently we offer individual family counseling, a bi-weekly support group, workshops, seminars and published mental health resourses, pastor/church training and mental health ministry development. For more information or to offer support please contact us at mhgracealliance@gmail.com.

Ministering to the Mentally Ill

What is a ministry to those experiencing mental illness?
A ministry that addresses mental illness is one that provides compassion, love, support, education, counseling and acceptance to people who have symptoms of a mental illness. Individuals experiencing psychological distress often seek out religious leaders for assistance with the struggles associated with mental illness. A mental health ministry provides holistic care through the application of both biblical truth and psychological resources.

Why is there a need?
Mental illness can affect anyone, male or female, young and old, and from different socioeconomic, religious and cultural backgrounds. According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), an estimated 26.2% of Americans 18 years old or older suffer symptoms of a diagnosable mental disorder in a given year. NIMH cites mental illness as the leading cause of disability in the United States and Canada for individuals between the ages of 15-44. People suffering from mental illnesses experience difficulty with the activities of daily living. Thinking, concentrating, remembering and relating to others are only a few of the many challenges. Similar to physical illness, if there is no intervention, mental illness causes difficulty with coping and functioning in life. Some well-known examples of mental illness are depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), bipolar disorder and schizophrenia.

Too often mental illness still carries with it a social stigma. A study I conducted in 2007 found that approximately one-third of the study’s participants diagnosed with a mental disorder reported having a negative experience with a church when they sought help for a mental health issue. However, years of research indicates that mental disorders are the result of biological and environment factors no different than cancer or heart disease. It is not the result of personal weakness or character flaws. Mental disorders, like other diseases, are treatable. The National Alliance for Mental Illness (NAMI) states that between 70 and 90 percent of individuals suffering from mental illness see a significant reduction in symptoms through effective psychological or pharmacological treatment.

The failure to address mental illness can have a negative impact on society, leading to an increase in unemployment, substance abuse, homelessness, unnecessary disabilities and incarcerations, and suicides. According to NAMI, the cost for untreated mental illness is more than $1 billion annually. As with all illness, early identification and intervention significantly increase the likelihood of a successful recovery.

Stepping out in faith
Here are some “first steps” to consider before your congregation begins a ministry to those with mental illness:

• Participate in assessments designed to discover the scope of the need in your community and the resources your congregation possesses to meet that need.
• Based on the outcomes of the assessments, both internal and external, determine the level of interest in your congregation in this ministry and what, if any gaps exist in community care for this population.
• Learn about the factors contributing to poverty, unemployment, housing, and school drop-out rates in your community.
• Research existing programs and development projects in your community; find out as much as you can about existing programs.
• Look for ways your church can partner with a program or organization to meet a need.
• Once the interest for this ministry has been confirmed and research completed, begin educating the congregation and recruiting volunteers.
• Research local and national statistics.

What this ministry might look like in your church
There are many levels of ministry engagement that are available to your congregation. Here are just a few ideas:

• From your research and assessment information, develop and implement an educational campaign for your congregation about mental illness and its impact on families, communities and churches.
• Begin a support group for those individuals suffering from a mental illness; if you have a licensed counselor in your congregation, ask him or her to facilitate, or to recommend another professional from the community.
• If you have the resources, offer individual counseling, several support groups, Bible studies, and fellowship meals.
• Begin a benevolence fund to help pay for the costs associated with treating mental illness.
• Post emergency hotline numbers on bulletin boards in your church, church bulletin and newsletter that people in crisis can call.

When Sin is Called Disorder

One question I am commonly asked by Christians is, “Can sin be considered a disorder?” Typically what the person who asks this question wants to know is, “Can behavior associated with psychiatric disorders (for which there may or may not be a treatment) be considered sinful or wrong?” Of the behaviors I have written about in the past, many presently are (rage, lying/stealing, addiction) or were at one time (homosexuality) associated with specific psychiatric disorders. But does calling a behavior the Bible considers sinful, a disorder, somehow make that behavior no longer sin? Absolutely not!

In the context of medicine, a disorder is a condition in which there is a disturbance of normal functioning. To be disordered is to be broken; thrown into a state of disarray or confusion. In no way does labeling a behavior as disordered cause one to assume that the behavior is normal or accepted. In fact just the opposite is true; disordered behavior is abnormal and implies the need for change. Sinful behavior, like all behavior, is a complex interplay between physical (biological), mental and spiritual factors. I find that the choice of label, disorder or sin, often results from one’s perspective. If one focuses on the external or physical (biological), ignoring the spiritual, then one may call an abnormal behavior a disorder while a focus on internal or spiritual aspects may result in the same behavior being labeled as sin. One label does not somehow change or limit the other; both describe the same behavior from different vantage points or perspectives.

The labeling of a behavior as both sin and disorder also results from the availability of effective treatments or interventions that temper or limit the expression of the problem behavior. Given that all behavior is rooted in biology, it is understandable then that some sinful behaviors (e.g., addiction) can be altered through the use of physical remedies. The fact that there is such an overlap between behaviors considered disordered and those considered sinful is further proof that both biological and spiritual factors are involved. This having been said, it is important to realize that while some sins may rightly be thought of as disorders, not all disordered behaviors are sin.

Up Coming Presentations

I just wanted to let everyone know about some up coming presentations on faith and mental illness I will be giving in July and August.

July 27, NAMI Waco
Location: 7:00pm, Providence Hospital (classrooms 3 & 4), Waco, TX
Topic: Faith & Mental Illness
Information: Cynthia Cunningham (ccollision@hot.rr.com)

August 6-8, Comfort and Hope: An Ecumenical Conference Exploring
Christian Responses to Suffering
Location: Brock University, St. Catharines, Ontario (Canada)
Topic: Viewing Mental Illness Through the Eyes of Faith
Information: http://www.comfortandhope.ca/

Please come if you are in the area.

Life With Bipolar Disorder

Lately I have been receiving a number of calls from individuals who have a family member struggling with Bipolar Disorder. Mostly they just want to ask questions and get some understanding of this destructive disorder. I thought this week I would post the story of a woman that is living with Bipolar to help everyone appreciate just how difficult and destructive life with this brain disorder can be.

Rachael is thirty-six years old. She lives with her husband of thirteen years and their three children in a beautiful home in a quiet neighborhood near the lake. If you were to meet Rachael, you would find her to be an attractive, energetic person. She is a talented artist and is often thought of as the “life of the party.” She is active in her church and regularly volunteers to help at her children’s school.

What you might not realize is that Rachael has bipolar disorder. The disorder began to manifest during her freshman year in college. Away from home for the first time, she began to slip deeper and deeper into depression. She attempted suicide on three different occasions that year. Surprisingly, Rachael was not hospitalized, but she did begin to receive counseling.

Rachael got married soon after graduating, and noticed that the depression would become worse during her pregnancies. She saw a psychiatrist a few times over the years, but “felt that God was enough” and really never pursued treatment. She told me, in fact, that on several occasions she had believed herself divinely healed and stopped taking her medication, only to realize later that she was still having problems. After her third pregnancy, Rachael felt that her moods had finally leveled out; but then the hallucinations and nightmares started. She began to have terrifying nightmares in which she would murder her family. The nightmares were so vivid that the line between dreaming and reality became distorted, and Rachael would wake up with the fear that she had actually killed her family. She also began to hallucinate, seeing demons. Concerned that she might hurt herself or someone else, Rachael called her psychiatrist, who recommended she go to the emergency room. She was admitted to a local psychiatric hospital and, for the first time, given the diagnosis of bipolar disorder. That was one year ago.

Now Rachael is constantly on the go and unable to relax. She says the world moves too slowly for her and she is never satisfied. She cleans her house continually but never feels it is good enough. She makes out schedules for her children so that she will not be frustrated by the speed at which they get ready for school. Over the years, the disorder has taken a toll on Rachael’s marriage. Thinking that “there must be something better,” she has left her husband twice, only to return a few days later. She still has thoughts of death and dying once or twice a week, but says the fear of going to hell for committing suicide keeps her from hurting herself. Rachael often wonders if God may be using the disorder to humble her. Since she doesn’t fully agree with her bipolar diagnosis, she has stopped taking most of her medication and says it is her faith that keeps her going.

Homosexuality and the Church

Caitlyn first noticed she was attracted to girls at age 12. It bothered her; she knew that she was somehow different. In an attempt to suppress her same-sex attraction, she became very promiscuous with boys. “I knew it was wrong; I was trying to over-compensate with guys, it made me feel even guiltier.” After years of trying to suppress her thoughts and feelings she eventually came out to her best friend, and shortly thereafter, she told her parents. Neither handled it well. In fact, that was the last time she spoke to her best friend, who told her that she would need to change if they were going to continue to be friends. Now 21, Caitlyn lives openly as a lesbian with her girlfriend of one year.

Caitlyn grew up in a Christian family. She was homeschooled through high school and then attended a small Christian college. Since coming out a year ago, she has only returned to the Bible church she grew up in a few times. “They have basically shunned me. To them, I have committed an unforgivable sin, so I just don’t go to church anymore. I still believe in God, I pray, I’m just not in church.”

Caitlyn sees her parents about once a week. They will not let her bring her partner to their home, and she has never told them where she lives or her phone number so that they cannot interfere with her life and relationship. On the other hand, her partner parents, who are not believers, have accepted the couple with open arms, and Caitlyn wishes she could have the same type of relationship with her parents. “I’m not asking them to accept my homosexuality, I know that it is wrong, I know what the Bible says. I just want them to love me like they used to.”

I asked Caitlyn what she would tell other Christians anything about homosexuality, and she said, “Why is this sin different than all the others? The church accepts people back that commit every other sin - adultery, divorce. Why not homosexuality? Jesus hung out with sinners, but I’ve been shunned by the church. Once you admit that you’re gay, you’re an outcast in the eyes of the church. If this is the Christian way to reach homosexuals, then it is the wrong approach. I’m not asking that you accept my behavior, but at least care about me as person; be my friend. Isn’t that what Jesus would do?”

We treat it like no other sin. We want those involved in homosexuality to first clean themselves up, before they come to the church … before they come to God. The sad truth is that when we say that, we pervert the gospel (Romans 5:8). Christ is in the business of transformation, and we need to trust that just as He saves, He sanctifies. We do that for other sins such as divorce and addiction. A generation ago, divorce was taboo and rarely spoken of. Today we live in a culture that allows divorce for any and all reasons. Jesus taught that if a person divorces and marries another, he commits adultery and is involved in an ongoing sinful relationship. Divorce is a rebellion against the very will of God (Malachi 2:10-16; Matthew 19:8-9), yet the church’s response to those that are divorced has been an out-stretched hand of redemption and grace, as it should be! The sin of addiction is a constant cycle of struggle, relapse, repentance and renewed struggle, yet the church supports those men and women as they slowly make the journey towards freedom. But that is the process of sanctification, empowered by the indwelling Spirit; we struggle against our sinful flesh. If that same process doesn’t work for the homosexual then there is no place for any of us in the family of God. Albert Mohler, president of Southern Baptist Seminary, says it this way, “Our ministry to homosexuals is not as the sinless ministering to sinners, but as fellow sinners who bear testimony to the reality of salvation through faith in Jesus Christ.”

Life transformation for individuals struggling with homosexuality happened in the 1st century church (1 Corinthians 6:9-11), and it can still happen today. As a church, we must be more accepting of gay men and lesbians. They should be received into our fellowships with no questions or strings attached, as others are. When they are moved by the Spirit to seek a more intimate relationship with Christ, in love we need to encourage change to the extent that it is possible and chastity outside of marriage. The fact is that men and women struggling with homosexuality are already in the church. Some are celibate and struggling to suppress their homosexual desires and feelings alone and in silence, while others are married to an opposite sex spouse and struggling to suppress their homosexual thoughts and feelings, again alone and in silence. I see this as the great spiritual challenge of our generation. We will either rise to the challenge, extending grace and allow Christ to draw these men and women to Himself, or we will continue to stand as a barrier between Christ and His lost sons and daughters.